What is Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)?

This is a very common question for parents involved in a highly disputed custody battle. Many times I here from one side that they believe that their spouse has turned their child against them.

If you suspect that the first thing you really need to do is contact a family law attorney so that you can get immediate relief. Leaving that aside here are a few questions you need to ask yourself:

Does one or more of your children want to spend less time with you?
Do they now reject you when they used to be very warm and loving?
Do they sometimes claim that you hate them or that they hate you?

If these issues are now prevalent in your relationship with your child he / she may be suffering from Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS).

In 1985 a doctor named Richard A. Gardner, M.D. introduced the term parental alienation syndrome and pioneered its study. The following three cases are examples of the California family law courts recognizing PAS.

Coursey v. Superior Court (Coursey), 194 Cal.App.3d 147,239 Cal.Rptr. 365 (Cal.App. 3 Dist., Aug 18, 1987.
John W. v. Phillip W., 41 Cal.App.4th 961, 48 Cal.Rptr.2d 899; 1996.
Valerie Edlund v. Gregory Hales, 66 Cal. App 4th 1454; 78 Cal. Rptr. 2d 671.

If the court finds that PAS exists, it is likely to order a drastic shift of child custody or visitation.

The following are actual quotes by custodial parents said to children about the non custodial parent.

"Your dad is a jerk, and his new wife is weird"
"I know you don't want to go there but you have to" (the key to this sentence is the first part...i know you don't want...the CP is implying that the child's wish to not see the NCP is at the fault of the NCP and the NCP is just being mean in demanding his visitation time)
"You dad does not want to pay the support because he is a cheap selfish bastard and only I care about you"
"Your dad does not care about you. He only gives me a little money, not what you deserve to be raised on"
"I can't afford to buy nice stuff for you because your father won't give me more money"
"I can barely feed you on the child support money"
"Go ahead and live with your dad. You can just abandon us like he did"
"You dad only wants you to live with him because he wants to pay less money"
"Your dad is a bad father"
"Your grandma even thinks your dad is a bad father"
"You know only I love you"
"I am going to miss you so much while you are gone with your father"
"I am so lonely here without you"

If you feel that this is going on with your child please contact our office right away. And if not our office, please find an attorney that specializes in family law and contact them.