This is a very common question for parents involved in a highly disputed custody battle. Many times I here from one side that they believe that their spouse has turned their child against them.
If you suspect that the first thing you really need to do is contact a family law attorney so that you can get immediate relief. Leaving that aside here are a few questions you need to ask yourself:
Does one or more of your children want to spend less time with you?
Do they now reject you when they used to be very warm and loving?
Do they sometimes claim that you hate them or that they hate you?
If these issues are now prevalent in your relationship with your child he / she may be suffering from Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS).
In 1985 a doctor named Richard A. Gardner, M.D. introduced the term parental alienation syndrome and pioneered its study. The following three cases are examples of the California family law courts recognizing PAS.
Coursey v. Superior Court (Coursey), 194 Cal.App.3d 147,239 Cal.Rptr. 365 (Cal.App. 3 Dist., Aug 18, 1987.
John W. v. Phillip W., 41 Cal.App.4th 961, 48 Cal.Rptr.2d 899; 1996.
Valerie Edlund v. Gregory Hales, 66 Cal. App 4th 1454; 78 Cal. Rptr. 2d 671.
If the court finds that PAS exists, it is likely to order a drastic shift of child custody or visitation.
The following are actual quotes by custodial parents said to children about the non custodial parent.
"Your dad is a jerk, and his new wife is weird"
"I know you don't want to go there but you have to" (the key to this sentence is the first part...i know you don't want...the CP is implying that the child's wish to not see the NCP is at the fault of the NCP and the NCP is just being mean in demanding his visitation time)
"You dad does not want to pay the support because he is a cheap selfish bastard and only I care about you"
"Your dad does not care about you. He only gives me a little money, not what you deserve to be raised on"
"I can't afford to buy nice stuff for you because your father won't give me more money"
"I can barely feed you on the child support money"
"Go ahead and live with your dad. You can just abandon us like he did"
"You dad only wants you to live with him because he wants to pay less money"
"Your dad is a bad father"
"Your grandma even thinks your dad is a bad father"
"You know only I love you"
"I am going to miss you so much while you are gone with your father"
"I am so lonely here without you"
If you feel that this is going on with your child please contact our office right away. And if not our office, please find an attorney that specializes in family law and contact them.
Monday, October 27, 2008
What is Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)?
Friday, October 10, 2008
California Spousal Support Questions
As a family law attorney one of the main questions that I get is how much money will have to pay for spousal support? The simple answer is that California has a formula that is used to determine that. The long answer is there are a lot of factors that contribute to that. I will attempt to give you some basic information here on my blog as well you can visit my firms website. With that in mind the best way is for you to call my office for a FREE consultation and we can discuss.
Most people who earn more than their spouses are aware that in the event of a divorce they most likely will owe some level of spousal support, formerly called alimony, to the lower income earning spouse. They may not know the amount or the duration but they are aware of the risk. As an example, I recently had a consultation with a client and I went over the details of how spousal support is calculated. We ran the support numbers for him and we discussed the factors that go into calculating spousal support. Based on his information I was prepared to give him a number until he brought up the fact that his wife had been convicted of domestic violence against him.
This is a classic example that a man who is a high earner, as in this case, is somewhat resigned to the idea of paying spousal support and does not necessarily considered his wife’s domestic violence as an important issue to bring up immediately. Women who are the victims of domestic violence will be much more likely to bring it up immediately, most likely because they want a restraining order. Men may feel like they can protect themselves so they do not feel they need a restraining order. With that being the case, domestic violence is a key factor in determining spousal support. If a spouse has been convicted of domestic violence against the other spouse within the last five years then under California law there is a presumption that the injured spouse should not have to pay spousal support to their abuser. Therefore my consultation would have a good case to make to the court that even though he would normally owe spousal support that he should not have to under these circumstances because of his wife’s criminal conviction of domestic violence against him.
This is just one example of something that effects spousal support. This is why I encourage you that if you have any questions about spousal support or domestic violence or any other family law issue then please contact my family law office toll free at 866- 930-1949 or visit our family law website to schedule a free consultation at the office location nearest you. We have offices in throughout the Inland Empire as well as Orange County California.
Most people who earn more than their spouses are aware that in the event of a divorce they most likely will owe some level of spousal support, formerly called alimony, to the lower income earning spouse. They may not know the amount or the duration but they are aware of the risk. As an example, I recently had a consultation with a client and I went over the details of how spousal support is calculated. We ran the support numbers for him and we discussed the factors that go into calculating spousal support. Based on his information I was prepared to give him a number until he brought up the fact that his wife had been convicted of domestic violence against him.
This is a classic example that a man who is a high earner, as in this case, is somewhat resigned to the idea of paying spousal support and does not necessarily considered his wife’s domestic violence as an important issue to bring up immediately. Women who are the victims of domestic violence will be much more likely to bring it up immediately, most likely because they want a restraining order. Men may feel like they can protect themselves so they do not feel they need a restraining order. With that being the case, domestic violence is a key factor in determining spousal support. If a spouse has been convicted of domestic violence against the other spouse within the last five years then under California law there is a presumption that the injured spouse should not have to pay spousal support to their abuser. Therefore my consultation would have a good case to make to the court that even though he would normally owe spousal support that he should not have to under these circumstances because of his wife’s criminal conviction of domestic violence against him.
This is just one example of something that effects spousal support. This is why I encourage you that if you have any questions about spousal support or domestic violence or any other family law issue then please contact my family law office toll free at 866- 930-1949 or visit our family law website to schedule a free consultation at the office location nearest you. We have offices in throughout the Inland Empire as well as Orange County California.
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